Thursday, January 24, 2002

Some Favorite Quotations

Here is a collection of some of my favorite quotations. Many of these were obtained from a freeware quote program I found on the net a long time ago, some are from the newsgroup alt.quotations, and others I picked up from radio or TV. Let me know if you find inaccuracies, or if you know who said some of the non-acknowleged ones.

Wise quotes about life and stuff

There is no salvation in adapting to a world which is crazy. - Henry Miller, "The Colossus of Maroussi"
Great spirits have always found violent oppression from mediocrities. - Einstein
It may be possible to fight intolerance, stupidity, and fanaticism seperately, but when they come together there is no hope. - Einstein
He who is in love with himself will have no rivals. - Ben Franklin
The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
Talk therapy turns hysterical misery to mundane unhappiness. - Sigmund Freud
While one must have a destination, in the end it's the journey that matters. - U.K. LeGuinn
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt
You have not only the right to be an individual, you have the obligation to be one. - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Truth" never set anyone free. It is only doubt which will bring mental emancipation. - Anton LaVey
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. - William James
If the human mind were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it. - Pat Bahn
Those who can make you believe in absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
When someone says 'I'm so disillusioned', I say 'Congratulations! You've lost another illusion.' - Parker Palmer
To become what you are not, behave as you do not. - T.S. Eliot
My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. - Mark Twain
Civilization will reach maturity only when it learns to value diversity of character and of ideas. - Arthur C. Clarke
Much of the world's sorrow comes from people who are 'this' yet allow themselves to be treated as 'that'. - Maude in 'Harold and Maude'
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell
It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. - e.e. cummings
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is commonly employed only by small children and large nations. - David Friedman
If, after having been in someones presence, you feel as though you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. - William S. Burroughs
Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of bad training. - Anna Freud
To always hit the target, throw a dart, then call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant
We'd all be alot happier if we'd stop assuming we're supposed to be happy. - Garrison Keilor
You can't carpet the whole world, but you can put on a pair of slippers. - Stuart Smalley
I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his abilities. - Oscar Wilde
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. - Fred Bridge
Bourgeois morality is largely a system of making cheap virtues a cloak for expensive vices. - George Bernard Shaw
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you might as well dance with it. - George Bernard Shaw
Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box. - Bill Maher
To have a happy ending, choose a happy moment and call it 'the ending'.
Honesty is incompatible with the amassing of a large fortune. - Mohandas Gandhi, 1948
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. - Gustave Flaubert
He who foresees calamities suffers them twice over.
The future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition. - Isaac Asimov
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss
Better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not. - Andre Gide
There are a great many people who have a vested interest in maintaining the stupidity of the American public. - Gore Vidal
Americans can be counted on to do the right thing -- after all other possibilities have been tried. - Winston Churchill
America: a country that went from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization. - John O'Hara
A criminal is someone with predatory instincts but does not have suffecient capital to form a corporation. - Howard Scott
Political language is designed to make lies seem truthful and murder seem acceptable. - George Orwell
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste or intelligence of the American people. - H. L. Mencken
The crumbling of Rome took 250 years. We have the political talent in this country to do it in a couple of decades. - Kevin Phillips
The Bush administration made us nostalgic for ... well, any other time in history. - Hal Sparks
A good engineer can tell you how to build a bridge; A great engineer can tell you if it's really needed. - E.C. Grace
If God had intended man to use computers, he would have given him 16 fingers.
If computers take over, it will serve us right. - Alistair Cooke
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. - Gerald Weinberg
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. - Stephen Hawking

Miscellaneous Celebrity Quotes

All dogs look up to you. All cats look down to you. Only pigs look at you as an equal. - Winston Churchill
If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations. - Robin Williams
Between the Pope and air conditioning, I’ll take air conditioning - Woody Allen on science and religion
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. - Elizabeth Taylor
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle it's much too confining. - Lilly Tomlin
I've played a murderer, so certainly I think I can play a Republican. - Alan Alda
I am not in denial. I am just selective about the reality I accept. - Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes)
All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English. - from a George Carlin album cover
The best anti-depressant pill for me would be one the size of a house so you could drop it on me and put me out of my misery. - Walter Kern
I never wanted to live to see the day that the most powerful people in the world were named Bush, Dick, and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut
If somebody tries to tell me the earth was created in 7 days I take a fossil and say "FOSSIL". If he still won't shut up I throw it at him. - Lewis Black
Yes, I only took five sandwiches on my flight. I figured if I made it to Paris, that's all I would need. And if I didn't make it to Paris, that's all I would need. - Charles Lindburgh
If homosexuality is a disease, we should call in sick to work: 'Hello, can't come in, still queer'. - Robin Tyler
My films can be considered political action against the tyranny of good taste. - John Waters
I didn't have a problem with drugs, I had a problem with policemen. - Keith Richards
We didn't have prozac back in the 70's but thankfully we had you. - To Joni Mitchell from a fan
Could you come up here and tune this thing? - Jimi Hendrix from stage, to Eric Clapton in the audience
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side. - Han Solo
In a world gone mad, only the crazy are truly insane. - Homer Simpson
The Vatican is asking that in lieu of flowers, just stop touching your dick. - Bill Maher on the death of the pope
You can't go around telling people you're King just because some watery tart lobbed a sword at you. - Monty Python